“Marty, where we’re going, we don’t need keys…”

Okay, so I shamefully paraphrased BTTF… but today seemed as good as any to use it.

SO… let’s set the scene, shall we.

I get home early, namely since I had to run some errands, and work was kind of dry today (both work, willingness to do so, and lack thereof the previous two). After unloading the car after a trip to Target for super glue and other adhesives… don’t ask, it’s not of a sexual nature, thank you very much. I caught a neighbor I hadn’t talked to in a while walking her dog (and, no, this lady is like 60-70 years old). We got to gossiping about the neighborhood… and said, well, since she had to walk her dog, I’d join her while I was waiting for Gaby to come home. I go to lock the door, thinking I had a set of keys.. the car keys, but, um no house keys.

So I get back after the half hour jaunt and gab session. Say goodbyes, scratch my plethora of mosquito bites, and go to the door, reach in the pocket… no house keys. I figure, Gaby should be home soon and I have car keys, I go to the car and sit and listen to the radio. 

Of course, this bores the hell out of me.

I start to figure, since I’ve picked the lock before in under 45 seconds with real tools, if I only had some shitty improvised tools, maybe I could bide my time trying to, um, break into my own house. I’ve figured I had gotten good, a bit, since I do enjoy picking whenever the chance strikes (and I have at least one of my pick sets with me at all times… of course, this presented a challenge, as I had neither with me.)

I look around the car… I need a pick and a tension wrench.

Hmmm, look, a bobby pin in the crack of the seat… could work as a wrench, but it’s too thin. Oh, and it’s got that damn dab of rubber on each end. But still, it’s a start. 

I look at the keys I have, her car key (VW GTI fob, square), two keys to her mom’s house, and our mailbox key. The Schlage keys aren’t right even for bumping, as the side cuts are wrong… the mailbox key is to short… however, it’s got enough of a nose I can use it as a tension wrench. Now, on to the bobby pin… pop the rubber off and bend it out to 90 degrees. I’ll go for the straight edge as the pick, but nothing to push the pins like a rake… him, a bit interesting, but same concept.

The bobby pin is painful to hold as it’s too small and narrow for my fingers. Grabbed the lunch receipt from my pocket and improvised a grip. 

Time to see if I’m THAT good. Well, insert key and tension… insert bobby pin, and some nimble movements… in less than 30 seconds… lock cylinder turns… I’m into the house.

Yes, I’m that good… or we need new locks. Time for another tip to Home Depot… but for the display locks, I’m bringing my pick set to see how quickly I can do each… I’d personally pick Medeco if I could do it this weekend, but… I doubt I’d get a locksmith who’d work weekends…

And no, don’t try robbing us, we have an alarm system and two attack cats! No kidding! Oh, and regular drive through by the Montgomery County police. SO there…